Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
