Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
