We're facebook friends in real life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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