Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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