In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
