Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
