sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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