Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
