hotel room ftw
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
