literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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