Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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