the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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