True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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