can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
