But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
