ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
