How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
