Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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