the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
