some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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