I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So many bounce houses so little time
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize