whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
