Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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