She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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