i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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