we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
