my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
