i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
