i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
