fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
