I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
