Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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