so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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