oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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