I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
