what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
