Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
