i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
