Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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