I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize