I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
