I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
