Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
