The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
