oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
