How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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