her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
