I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
