C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
