dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
