we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Shame - the story of my life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
