Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize