Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
wow bdsm is so cute
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