Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
