I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
