my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
