Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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