part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
