Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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