you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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