I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
