im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
