are you so shy because you have an std?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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