Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
