i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
