You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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