Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
