Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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