I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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